I used Art as Therapy
By: Mary-Elizabeth
I began to paint professionally in 1991, at the age of 31, but had been dabbling in arts of all kinds from a very young age. I sang in the choir, danced at the school dances and while at home, took ballet, wrote poetry and short stories, carved on wood and painted. It was always so much fun and I always felt invigorated afterwards. During my youth, I looked forward to living my life and I just knew that it held all sorts of wonderful things.
During the last few months of 1993, only three years after I started painting as a profession, I began to feel pain throughout my body and intense pain targeting my right arm. It became harder by the day to paint, but I pressed on. I spent nearly the whole year of 1994 going to doctors and having test, but it wasn’t until one very wise doctor had an MRI ran on my whole body that the large cell tumor was found in my right humorous. My doctor sent me to an Oncologist who specialized in bone tumors. He said we should watch it for a while, and watch it we did. We watched it triple in size in a little over three month and so opted for surgery to remove the tumor from the inside of the bone. It was a painful surgery and there was to be a lengthy recovery time, but I was willing to do it. The surgery went well and I came home the next day. The “low grade cancer” as it was called (that just meant that it was becoming cancerous) was caught and removed. I really wish that this was the end of the story, but it wasn’t. For the last ten years, I have undergone 9 additional surgeries on my arm, one on my neck and two on my left hand. My body shakes and I am in pain throughout my body all the time, day in and day out. I take a cocktail of pain medications and still, life goes on.
Throughout my illness and right up until 2004, I created oil paintings, remained active in the charity work that I so loved, collaborated with celebrities like George Lucas, Bill Cosby, Sam Hagar, Sally Struthers and others to paint their images and auction them for Children with Aids. I was president of two art associations and a member of 4 others. I participated in art shows and invitational, such as the foundation at Marina World Africa USA, in which I was called “One of the world’s finest wildlife painters”. I loved what I did and no amount of pain was going to keep me from it. Then, my world came crashing down around me.
My pain began to spiral out of control. I could no longer hold a brush without shaking. I was now at the mercy of my pain, which we all know has no mercy! It was at this lowest point that my life partner reminded me that I could still tell a story, not through my paints, but with my words, and he reminded me that I had told him a great story just a few years earlier. Although I was still in pain, could not get out of bed many days and suffered the migraines, I still could use the arts to heal myself, to make myself feel better! I knew that he was right! I began to dictate “Am I Dead Yet? A Disabled Artist’s Journal.”
I know that there are many of you who have felt the way I did. We feel as if we can not go on, that life has dealt us one too many bad cards, but I have to tell you, it is never too late. This is the time for you to find your voice, paint a picture, sing your song or dance your dance. If you have a story inside or poems that you dream of publishing, now is the time to do it! I would like to encourage all of you to start experiencing a new life through the world of the Arts. Ask your doctor if he knows about art therapy, or look on the web. There are many good sites that you can learn from. I wish you all well and the best of luck as you undertake the best step for your health, the Art of healing!
